The Advents of Husby Wifey: T-Rex In Bed

It was with the utmost thoughtfulness, the sincerest love and devotion, the truest measure of overwhelming kind-hearted concern that lead our dear hero Husby, to write this missive to his wifey:

"Half serious, half-joking. For sleeping Tyranasaurus Rexs ;-D"

accompanied by this photograph:

Yes, dear faithful readers, it comes complete with ear holes.

 While Husby may have had the best intentions, you can only surmise Wifey's barely intelligible response. For while Wifey is always the dear and devoted wife, this topic has been a sore spot for quite some time. Who's to blame when you're sound asleep and can't help your breathing sounding like a chain saw cutting a redwood? Hardly her own; if she had a choice in the matter, I'm sure she'd shut off the power button on the nasal crescendo pronto!

 Husby insists this headgear will do just the trick. "Better yet, let's just tie some socks together and use bungy socks!" he suggested. The bout ended with both laughing hysterically and Husby drowning wifey in a hail of kisses.

 T-Rex is apparently sticking around for quite a while.

Adventures of Husby and Wifey: Bowling Bomb

When it comes to Bowling, Husby and Wifey couldn't be more opposite. The Bowling connoisseur and rules master is on the left. The absolute bomb, never over 20 points, sits on the right. As much as Husby tries to convince Wifey to play the game, she stands resolute and refuses to lift the 3 holed WMD from the glistening rack. Why is this? Our research uncovered the tragic story...

Last time Wifey went bowling, she was in a crowded alley, friends all around, the hot guys, the cute girls, everyone single and having a terrific time. As usual Wifey's skills are less than stellar, and in increasing dismay she mounts the gleaming wood floor for round #5. All was going according to plan, when instead of releasing the ball, Wifey's thumb refused to cooperate and both Wifey and ball are propelled down the lane, landing with a thunderous crash and barging belly-flop style towards the pins.

Gravity finally kicked in half-way down the lane, and with every eye upon her, she shambled back towards the seats, wishing she had a Harry Potter invisibility cloak to conceal her blushing cheeks and crushed pride.

No wonder Husby has no luck with his cajoling remarks. To relive that painful experience is just that. PAINFUL.

So Wifey sits and takes photos of the momentous happenings in the bowling alley, as content as can be. Here's the evidence to prove it:

Adventures of Husby and Wifey: The Career Catastrophe

Husby and Wifey have made a monumental career change decision. No more photography or lucrative private security for these two, nope- a new era has begun. They have decided to become your latest and greatest Baby Naming Professionals.

In light of the fact that they have no children themselves, wifey decides they are amply qualified to assist the Portland elites in naming their new offspring. According to Steven Levitt , Economist and co-author of Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything (P.S.), this is a very viable vocation.

Are you the perpetually fearful parent that worries about wether naming your child something too bohemian will plunge them on a path of poverty? Never fear, the experts are here.

Husby and Wifey will sit down with you (for a moderate fee of course) establish your family heritage (for an additional fee), research your background (er..yes more $$) and come up with the perfectly suited name to your newborn.

"Ward off baby-name regret with our expertise and advice, don't trust your instincts- trust ours!! Our adroit flattery and agile minds  will leave you more than satisfied (and considerably less endowed).

Our vast selections include Bobbi, Brunel, Shaniqua, Chantelle, Billy, Nilly and a litany of others!

Visit us at http://byebyebadnames.com   "